Friday, November 5, 2010

Retired, Tired and Disgusted

So I have good news and bad news.   The good news is:  I'm officially retired, effective yesterday!  It's kind of a moot point since I haven't been to work since October 1st.  I didn't feel well enough to go back after the angioplasty and I've used up all my FMLA leave.  No sick or vacation time left, and without FMLA leave my division would terminate me for being absent without leave, (oh yes, they sent me a certified letter to let me know they would not extend FMLA and I had to return to work or be terminated - such compassion.)  So rather than leave under those circumstances, I resigned and put in my retirement papers. 

Then I had a birthday.  This falls under the bad news heading.  I celebrated by spending the day filling out the on line application for Social Security and SSDI (Social Security Disability).   I have been dreading the process and my fears were well founded.   It took me 5 hours to do the on line forms.  They wanted information going back 15 years!  Don't we all have that at our fingertips?  By the time I was done I went to sleep!  (But I did celebrate the next night with a great dinner with friends and a Sunday brunch the next day.)

I also applied for LTD (Long Term Disability) through the insurance I have.  Waiting to see how that will go.   Completely different set of paperwork - grrrr! (Bad news)

Monday I planned to get out and do errands and then go to rehearsal. Nope.  Spent the day sticking close to the bathroom as bowel problems decided to flair up.  Drank a lot of water, did laundry, and took Imodium - isn't MS fun? (More bad news for those keeping score.)

On Tuesday, November 2nd, I worked at the polls for the mid term elections.  We had a very good turnout but I'm just disgusted with the results around the country and especially in Florida.  Floridians elected a thief, crook and liar as their governor.  I'm sorry but I can't comprehend this.  Too disgusted to even talk about it.  We are doomed.  (Very very bad news)

Then on Wednesday I get a letter from SSDI asking me to contact the local office to "discuss my earnings record."  Huh?  They have my earnings record - they sent it to me!  But I tried to call all day and of course, could not get through.   I finally call the 800 general number, which I was advised by many NOT to do, but there was no choice.  The woman I spoke to said they want documentation of my last 10 years of earnings.  How bizarre is that?  First, why not say that in the letter?  And second, they have my earnings records as reported on my W-2 forms every year.  But OK, I dug out all my tax returns and pulled off the W-2s which I will take to get photocopied and then mail in to the local office.  (Frustrating but not too bad.)

Thursday was a fun day.  In the morning, the owner of the wheelchair repair store came by to trade me two scooters for two batteries for the power chair my neighbor Bob gave me.  That actually went well and now I need to learn how to use the chair without killing myself in the process.  The joystick controls are nothing like my scooter.  I'll need a lot of practice.  (Used it to take out the garbage tonight and went v-e-r-y  s-l-o-w-l-y to make sure I didn't topple down the stairwell!)   Then I was off to Boca to meet my friend and her Mom for lunch.  But in my haste, I didn't notice the radar trap set up on the road leading to the highway and bam - they got me.   Big big speeding ticket.  But the cop was nice about it and truth is, I was speeding.  I'll try and get it over to the Ticket Clinic and pay them to get it dismissed.  Welcome to Florida.  But lunch was lovely so that was a draw.

Now it's Friday and all my good intentions for the day, (go to the gym, do some RFBD reading, get my nails done, go to the Ticket Clinic, get those photocopies made) went out the window when my body decided nuh uh - you're not going anywhere today.  The overwhelming fatigue hit me like a ton of bricks.  Spent the day watching TV and napping.  At 6:00 my 82 year old neighbor rang my bell to bring me dinner she had cooked!  How did she know I really needed that today?  And how depressing that I had to have an 82 year old take care of me?  It's 10:30 pm now and I finally feel better.  Well, as Scarlett said, tomorrow is another day.  (Score:  Good news 1 - bad news 6)

So my retirement days have not begun well, but I guess not struggling to get to work on time each day is the big bonus.  I'm now officially done complaining and will try and remember to count my blessings and be grateful and positive.  I'll really try but I may slip again;   I'm still a work in progress.



  1. Hell Yes!
    This the life we all lead, damn it!
    But this roller coaster ride called MS and life is a thrill a minute, and don't you ever ever forget it lady!
    You are a survivor like the rest who have NO other choice and this too will pass...hang in there, as my Neuro loves to say! But you know that without me telling you anything!
    I am on your team! G-d bless little old ladies who have Mom complexes! We all do, don't we? LOL! Be well dear friend and feel better and peace to you, and you know me about this horrendous election turnout that I sooo agree with you about, Hubby wants to move out of state, kidding, since Florida is it for us...but I said we will be keeping an eye on this guy (Scott) let's all really do that! His email is available and we should make sure he knows where we stand on ADA and all other MS related matters that the state may have some input on... like I need a little thing called INSURANCE, which the other guy said was available (in state) for all pre-existing but funny thing you had to be healthy for TWO WHOLE YEARS!!!! Not gonna happen! Good luck with your tormentors, been there too sadly, and I really hope you have better luck than I had!
    Please be who you are and never change your innards(sorry sound like a hick,lol and I am from north Jersey! Outside of Manhattan!)of that smart problem solving woman within.
    Good luck, and now doesn't venting feel oh so good? My prescription is do it as often as necessary! Aint emotions great? And we have a girly pass!Take it, relish it and encourage it amongst the others of our gender who have turned way too tough!I have come down from that...

  2. OMG Tobi, I hadn't been back here to check and just this morning to read your comment. You must have thought I was ignoring you but no, never! Thank you sweetie - I love reading your blog because you put it all out there and I'm trying to do that too.

    Yes - venting felt great and I'll try to do it more often - just maybe not on this blog LOL.

    We have a girly pass! What a nice phrase which, to be sure, I'll use often. Crying over a TV commercial? I have a girly pass! Getting emotional for no apparent reason? I have MS AND a girly pass! Hugs to you my friend.